A weekend in the life

  The weekend was exactly what it was suppose to be.  It starts on Friday; 2 of my nieces call me (1st grade and 5th grade) and they ask if I'm going to  their talent show tonight-hmmm do I go out drinking for my buddy's bday or show up for the munchkins?......  yyyeah the munchkins always win =^ )    I got there and sat myself down in front.  They were waiving at me and smiling ear to ear.  They performed a dance to some Selena Gomez song.  When it was over they wanted to roll in my car back to their house, so I complied.  I get to my sisters home and the whole fam bam is there-about 25 of us. Some didnt make it to the show due to traffic.  I had purchased pizza dough at Trader Joes b4 arriving and I cleared my sisters counter top and had the kids all make their own pizza or calzone.   It was a fun messy time.  Then we danced the calories off on the Xbox kinect to some Dance Central2. -End of night one-  Saturday morning was dedicted to coffee and my next painting creation. The day flew by, and it was aklready late afternoon.  I did some man-scaping, showered and bolted ouuta the house to setup in Down Town Pomona for the Samba festivities.  I walk into the DBA Wine Bar and finally I'm semi-impressed by the art work displayed;  Mexican inspired.  I begin to unwrap wires and move heavy speaker boxes into place.  One hour later it was time to drink.  What was the drink of choice? I'm glad you asked, it was Boddingtons-goes down smooth. The night started with some underground hip hop and break beats.  Then the dancers arrived.  I escorted them to my cousins apt.(dressing room) where they changed into their barely there outfits and oversized feathers.  Soon as they were ready we began to walk the streets with them dancing to beating drums, a trumpeting trumpet, and a referee whistle.  One block later we arrive at the DBA and begin to get our Samba on! 

The night went off without a hitch and a great time was had by all.  Sunday came around and it was the usual suspect.  Church, pecan pancakes engulfed in caramel, and a side of sausage links, bacon, scrambled eggs and 3cups of joe.  Good ol' Sunday. 

...what do you see?

... Many people will look at this glass and see it is as half empty.  Only a few of us (me included) can see the beauty in the fact that this glass is half full.
   
    Life throws us many curveballs (Baseball reference).  We just have to learn how to hit em'; the curveballs.  Why do we tend to want to "sulk" in the sorrow?  Why do we want to feel down in the dumps?...  I had my stint with depression/sorrow waaaay back when I was fifteen when my father passed away.  I allowed the darknesss to fall upon me.  I wouldn't leave my room or allow anyone to hear or see me.  If I ate any food it would be at 3am when everyone was asleep, and even then it would be something bland like toast and stuff.  I saw the hurt I was putting my mother through but I didn't care.  I felt like I didn't deserve to be around.  "What's the point? my phone hasn't rung, my pager hasn't gone off, what's the point of being alive no one will miss you", is what I would think to myself. Three months later God kicked me into shape.  I was lying in bed at about 3pm and I heard a voice.  A strong voice tell me, "GET UP OUT OF BED, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.  I DIDN'T BRING YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND GIVE YOU YOUR GIFTS FOR YOU TO WASTE THEM AWAY. GET UP AND BE WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE".  I quickly sat up placed my hands on my face and began to cry, yell, and punch at my bed.  I cried because I was happy; I am better than this.  I yelled to release all the negative thinking that was keeping me down, and I punched away at the bed because I was upset at myself for thinking I was anything less than AWESOME.  I dried my eyes and got out of that bed, out of that room, out of that state of mind.  I found my mother in the kitchen cooking, she looked at me with the most joyful eyes.  I hugged her tight and told her I loved her and I'm sorry.  My bro-phew was extatic to see me as were my sisters.  From that day forward I have had an awesome outlook on life.  The negatives are also positives to me.  I learn from the negatives.  My family has suffered through many trials and tribulations after the passing of my father, but now I truly am here.  I am a rock.  I ensure we all smile and keep out whits/faith about us.
     THE GLASS IS HALF FULL...  "Man that chick totally rejected you!- yeah but atleast I went up to her." "Man these people keep gossiping about you- I know it's not true, if it entertains them, let them keep talking. They're only showing me who THEY truly are."  "Sorry to hear about the death of your father- me to, but I know he's in a better place and one day I'll be with him too in paradise.".  The glass is half full folks-Stay thirsty my friends, LOL .



                "For I know the plans I have for you, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a 
                 future and a hope"  -Jesus-   Jeremiah 29:11

I'm a Wolf in Wolf's clothing...

  I really don't care what people think of me, is that bad? .... Is it bad to be yourself?  No it's not.  So I find it incredibly humorous when I notice other individuals be fake.  I know how to read people.  Body language, voice tone, eye contact...etc.  I mean I can tell when a conversation feels forced.  If you don't feel like speaking, don't speak.  Or if you do decide to speak keep it short and full of closed ended responses.  Folks will respect you more for it.  When you can't look me in the eyes, I own you. One of my bro's always laughs at me when we go out, because I'm so straight forward with women.  I mean I have no game, I don't need to spit game to get a woman's attention.  I'm just myself.  I know how to have a good time, and how to let a good time be had.  Another thing about me is that I know a lot but say nothing.  I know the stupid gossip because its told to me(I don't ask, folks just feel the need to tell me), I know the dumb secrets-blah blah blah.  I'll put people on the spot with that info.  I like doing that because it allows me to see who they "really" are.  I'm 100% non judgemental and I believe that's why dudes, and chicks open up to me.  I don't fluff you up in order to get your guard down.  Sh!t I want your guard up, it's more entertaining that way.  I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.  If you do fall prey it's because "you" also allowed it to happen.  I don't pey on the weak.  Just because I don't have something on my arm when I leave the bar/club, doesn't mean I go after "whatever"....that's just gross.  Just because I can, doesn't mean I will. You get what you see with me and the true friends I have see that.  They'll take a bullet for me because they know I'd do the same.

On a Monday afternoon....

It feels good to have a day off.  I tried to sleep in but my internal clock kicked in at about 6am.   The birds singing their joyful songs outside my bedroom window didn't help either.  I turned over on to my side to ignore them, but the warm rays of the sun began to sneak into my bedroom and they seduced me into waking up.  Well after that it was time for my morning routine... Stretch, some pushups(don't want to get too big and look like a meat head, I like the way my clothes looks on me-LOL), brushing and flossing of the teeth and a shave(if needed, and mmmmaybe some manscaping).  Some coffee with a dash of cinnamon, leche and sugar to aide me in what's to come.  A day to ME...finally.   I swaggered over to my drafting table, took a look at my army of prisma color markers and then drew a blank.......  damn.   So many things I can do with this beautiful mind of mine, and I'm drawing a blank.  What to do, what to do.  I looked over at some sugar skulls(day of the dead) I have on display and figured, sure why not.  But then after just 5minutes I lost interest-too easy.  I needed to challenge myself.  I began to think of women-nude women; oooo yeah that got the creative juices flowing.  The scent of a woman's neck right below her ear lobe.  The sexy sexy fold her leg makes at the hip.  The arch of her back when I take her from behind.  The sheen that her skin gives off after an orgasmic event.  The intoxicating sound of her voice sending shockwaves through my body... Yes the woman does inspire.   A couple of sketches later I had some awesome ideas to follow up on.  My mind always seems to go wicked, before it goes nice.   So I took a break and decided to get all oily; so I changed the brakes on my truck as I listened to the latest album by Mana.... time flies when your having fun.  The sun began its decent from the heavens and the night sky was upon me.  I just laid there on my back staring up at the stars and the visible planets.  Orion and Leo are clearly visible this time of year.  The heavens fascinate me and remind me that ANYTHING is possible. I enjoy ME time, getting lost in my mind is fun.  After a shower in orange scrub, I was squeaky clean and ready for more art.  I got my pasta maker out and started to cure some clay I'm getting ready for sculpting.  But then my AD_D kicked in and I jumped on my Mac and started working on photoshop- damn I need a game plan. I have too many ideas and things I want to do, but I gots to buckle down and focus on ONE......  My Monday was a ME Monday.  I'm lucky to have had one.  Many folks dont try for ME.

When did your heart go missing?

   Life, why do we tend to complicate you so?  As humans we want to make sense of everything.  Sometimes its best to be left in the dark about things, right? because then we just cloud our aura. Am I in like or am I in love?  ... Do I look fat in these jeans? ... Why aren't I successful?  blah blah blah.  We all have the God given ability to be the best ME we can be.  We need to succeed in our self, before we venture off into this world.  Know who you are and what you're all about.  This world will chew you up and spit you out if you allow it.  If you made your bed, sleep in it.  Own your mistakes and learn from them.  Do not keep repeating the same routine expecting a different outcome; that's insanity!  If your going to give in to lust OWN IT and enjoy it.  There may be guilt to deal with after; but you already knew that going in.  Guilt reminds us that we are human.  It's good to feel. Just don't suppress it, ask for forgiveness.  OWN IT.  
   Look around at all the things you have.  Enjoy them and stop thinking of the things you don't have.  Many people can tell you how to live your life, but only you can live your life.             
             
                   "Everyone wants to tell you how to do it, but they never did it"-unknown- 


   Like and Love-"L" words.  It's easy to fall for something new.  Just remember to tread carefully and never  press the issue of like or love.  It'll come.  Stop thinking about how you look.If you feel good, then naturally you look good.  You have no one to impress but yourself.  Success comes to all of us.  Just remember that no amount of success can compensate for failure at home.  Home is where the heart is.  Even though you may not be doing what you love, OWN IT.  We don't do what we want, we do what we have to.  Find enjoyment in what you do.  Example: I don't like my job, but I truly enjoy the people I work with.  Put your heart into everything you do and great things will come... and always remember to smile, it's contagious.     =^ ).

"Men face reality. Women don't. That's why men need to drink."

I have been watching a show on HBO called "Bored to Death".  The title for this Blog came from that show. I love it. The humor reminds me of the shenanigans me and my friends use to get into.
    Lately I have been feeling like the Titan Atlas; the world seems to be resting on my shoulders.  My family has been hit with many trials and tribulations.  Just this past year I have made too many trips to the hospital ER than I'd like to keep track of.  I work, go to the grocery store, come home then cook an awesome dinner ( I love to cook).  Then it starts all over again with really no ME time.  Then I have four older sisters that each have at least 4 kids to them. Each one depends on me in some way or another.  16 years ago our rock (my father) passed away.   I became the rock at the age of 15.  I hardened my heart to many emotions, and found my strength in my family.  My niece needs help with home work, I'm there.  A guy was annoying another I was there to check that runt; you know the basic things an uncle does and more.  I would come over and cook dinner for my sister and her family at times, because she'd be too stressed out to give the kids a home cooked meal.  My other sister, I would just be there for her.  Call her on the phone and let her vent about her day, and we'd talk about dad and the good ol' days.  My 3rd sister is 6yrs older than me and she's a strong one too, but she holds in too much.  With her when I see her I grab her pull her close and hug her.  I bury her head into my chest and I caress the back of her head with my hand.  I tell her she's a great mother , wife, woman and that dad is proud of her.  She's the one that was changing dads diapers and stuff when the cancer hit.  I was a kid and in denial that Superman was dying b4 my eyes.  So I avoided watching my father die.  I refused to watch him die.  My sister didn't though.  She helped mom.  The eldest two (twin) sisters had already moved out of the nest by then.  So yeah, at the funeral I heard my dad tell me, "no me llores (don't cry), sea fuerte (be strong)".  And I was/am.  I became the rock.  I took the load off of them.  I know how to deal with stress/life.  I'll dabble in some art, get lost in a book, or drink it up with the cousins.  I know life is tough and it's gonna beat us up and knock us down.  We just have to remember it's not how we fall, but it's how we get up that matters.  
    So I  know it sounds stupid to say this but that show connects with me.   For 26minutes an episode It makes me smile cheek to cheek and laugh.  In the end that's all we need, right?

You've got to hide your love away.

It's when feelings get involved that people start getting hurt.  What's going on folks?  Why on earth would you order mashed potatoes if you don't want mashed potatoes????  I mean we all enjoy a side dish here and there, but c'mon get with it.  It's just a side dish. Every now and again some of us in a relationship tend to look into a side dish.  But one must understand that there are rules to follow.  These rules apply to the male and female.

1. Once its no longer fun- move on
2. Once you find yourself arguing with your side dish- move on
3. Once it gets wierd- move on
4. Once you begin to think you love this person- move on

We humans are creatures of habit.  If you have a main dish then yes its time to move on once the side dish is no longer fun, whats the point?  We argue with our main dish all the time, why would we want to argue with the side dish too?  Wierd is just uncalled for, it falls in line with no longer fun.  The big one is LOVE.  Really peeps? come back to reality.  If you have a side dish then your perception of LOVE is scewed.  Call it LIKE and then its believable.  If you don't have a main dish, then you understand YOU are a side dish.  That means you understand the situation and have to enjoy being a "part time lover". I understand some of us have a work wifey or a work husband...but that's all it is.  The question you need to ask yourself is, "am I willing to leave my main dish for the side dish?" If you answered NO, then enjoy the mashed potatoes for what they are; a side dish.  Yes I know you ladies allow feelings to get in the way...but don't.You begin to think,"what would society(people) think of me?"-who cares what folks think.  Hide your feelings away and do not allow them to cloud your judgement or the excitement of the side dish.  Sex in public restrooms, stairwells, parking structures, park benches, movie theaters, elevators, roof tops, pools, gym sauna, hotels, motels, Holiday Inns......  Keep it spicy and keep it safe-wrap it up!  

The grass is always greener on the other side.  Don't be fooled.  If your gonna play with fire, you're gonna get burned.